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We Start Again, and Again, and Again...

End of 2022 reflections

Uma Mishra

— 6 min read
We Start Again, and Again, and Again...

It’s been one week since I moved into my new apartment. This apartment has three exterior facing walls and is colder than I would like it to be. But it’s quiet, and there’s an old church just opposite whose bell tower chimes every hour from 8 am - 8 pm. The best part is I am not on the ground floor and just in front of my window are trees - old trees, tall trees, trees with nests in them…

You’ll notice, this blog is titled - TREES: A MICROCOSM and while I am not talking about the meaning behind the blog just yet I will note I am a tree lover at my roots (excuse the a-corn-y pun). This blog is an experiment and I am so glad to be starting it finally and doing so today - 31 December 2022.

TREES: A MICROCOSM is a new project by Uma Mishra. Join in community.

You will learn more about this experiment soon, but for now, here’s a look into 2022. For those that know me and my work - it’s varied, uncontained, but always connected - enjoy the compartments, and do let me know how you are ending your year.

Racial Equity Work

This past year I have seen continued growth personally and professionally in my racial equity work. The work of our (STILL) volunteer BIPOC collective at The Racial Equity Index(**) continues, and while this year exhausted our collective, we still showed up beautifully for each other in community. We will continue this seminal and needed work in 2023 so don’t hesitate to send some funding/funders our way.

I was thrilled to join my powerhouse colleague, Tina Ajuonuma, and her organisation The Better Org(**), as a Senior Consultant a few months ago. To be able to do the work of racial equity and justice in an effort to improve the global development sector in a way that centers care, intention, and honesty is a commitment I am glad to hold with The Better Org team. Feel free to reach out to us if you want to collaborate.

Somatic Work

I have grown tremendously this year in my intention to approach the work I do with an understanding of the human cost of racial equity and justice work. I completed a course in 2022 on Embodied Social Justice and it has really helped my approach to the facilitation of race-related conversations and restorative justice work as a consultant. I will continue in 2023 with my fellow siblings and community in somatic abolition work and am so deeply grateful to be on this journey with Resmaa Menakem(**) and my triad sisters.

Children’s Book(s)

As some of you know, Loujain Dreams of Sunflowers(**), my first-ever children’s picture book was published this year in March 2022. I co-authored this book with my dear friend, and incredible activist, Lina AlHathloul. Our book, written when Lina’s sister, Loujain was still in prison, was reviewed by the New York Times and has received two awards, and numerous praise.

As a former educator, I LOVED writing a teaching guide (parents there are wonderful coloring pages by Rebecca Green - our incredible illustrator - that you can download here) and going back into classrooms this year to engage with students and teachers on the writing process, storytelling, the story behind Loujain, this book and more. We are just getting started in our journey with Loujain Dreams of Sunflowers. The book currently is available in English and German and will come out soon in French and Korean!

Writing Loujain Dreams of Sunflowers reminded me why I love writing and telling stories, and so I am really glad to now be exploring another way for me to create in this world. Rest assured you will see more children’s picture books from me in the future. Be sure to check out the works from my fellow colleagues repped by the best literary agent and advocate I know - Jessica Craig(**).

Reach out(**) if you want to book Lina and me for a virtual or in-person book event with your student group, school, bookstore, or classroom!

Always Learning…

This year I wanted to explore new learning experiences. So I took up learning how to play the sitar and I am in love. I am a true beginner and really enjoying the joy, the pain from the strings, and hearing up close an instrument come to life that I feel so deeply in my bones as the sound is embedded in my DNA. I was in the Bay Area, CA for a while this year and was able to find a great instructor and have access to a rental sitar. Now back in Switzerland, I am struggling to find a teacher and an instrument so would love any communal knowledge sharing if possible!

Under the soil…

I need to end this ‘update’ by returning back to the body, to myself. Because all of what you just read above are parts of what I do but don’t shed the clearest light on who I am. We build community through acknowledgment that being human is hard and while our experiences may vary, the core of our experiences involve moving through difficult emotions, learnings, and healing journeys. In 2022 I:

  • found myself trapped in the vacuum of grief which I learned is both a monster and a friend. Loss is hard and isolating and the journey doesn’t really have an end date.
  • braced in my body for a majority of the year as I moved through my divorce process and all that it contained.
  • was reminded over and over that healing is communal and was held in community by my somatic abolition siblings and sisters.
  • became more aware than ever before of the edges of my body and what it all holds. Healing work and self-love requires us to be honest with ourselves, and sometimes that honesty is hard to hold.
  • became aware (and grew more aware) of what love means for me as a 40+-year-old and how it has shifted to encapsulate a definition of LOVE I didn’t know existed. (see the link list below for the one book I will always return to for this lesson).
  • was open to asking for help. This was probably the biggest lesson of the year for me. I asked for help when I thought I was going to have to change careers because I couldn’t find a role in the global development sector (I have written extensively on how racist the global development sector is and how the hiring process breaks people of color repeatedly). I asked for help when it felt like I was drowning and had an emergency call list specifically for this purpose. To those who showed up for me and witnessed me and saved me - thank you will never be enough.

What does your heart hold on this last day of 2022? Can you take time to return to yourself and acknowledge all that is?

Much love in the days that follow.

- Uma

I post all links mentioned above (**) and further recommendations at the end of posts. Feel free to click through to learn more and interact with whatever speaks to you.

Recommendations:

  • The book that has forever defined LOVE for me: all about love: New Visions by ancestor bell hooks.

  • Listening to the lyrics in this song: Not Even The King - Alicia Keys

  • Soaking in this song nearly every morning in my Morning Ragas playlist: Monsoon by Anoushka Shankar

  • Reflecting on 2022 by doing this exercise by We’re Not Really Strangers (I usually recommend Year Compass but this year has been too much to unpack).

  • Listening to any playlist by Bobby Nsenga - this one is on repeat.

  • Books I am currently reading (I read multiple at a time as I need some variety):

  • 2 Practices I am continuing in 2023 (both take place on Evernote for me - use a notes app that is accessible for you)

    • Write every day - 3 Good Things That Happened Today - Recommendation by Ava Duvernay (Things no one would notice or feel except you. Big, small, silly, etc). I have missed more than a few days this year but I have kept coming back to this note and I am truly enjoying revisiting some of these moments.

    • Have a note where you copy, paste, and add images of quotes, sentences, and book excerpts that speak to you. Restart a new note every year. Mine is titled: 2022 Quotes/Sentences/Readings and here is what stuck with me (note: this has been edited to protect paid work wherever possible).

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